She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I FOUND THE LEGS
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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