just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
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If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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