what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
