ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
