you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
