Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
