we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
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Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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