yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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