So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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