you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
did you just send me my own nude
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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