omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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