STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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