this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
