We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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