Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
