great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize