no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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