So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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