If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
