NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize