so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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