Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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