This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
