people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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