I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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