p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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