I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
