He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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