Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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