Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.