K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
