it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
is wine microwaveable?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
