Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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(505): View more from New Mexico

There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.

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(406): View more from Montana

Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!

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(205): View more from Alabama

They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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(425): View more from Washington

He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.

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(415): View more from California

I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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(703): View more from Virginia

I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.

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