I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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