spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
