do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
