I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
