I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
