how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
