so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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