I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
