I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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