We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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