I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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