Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i drank out of a bidet.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Randomize