pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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