those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
