she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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