She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
