And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
