Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize