Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize