But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
