Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you never un-have a 4some
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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