So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize