Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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