You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
