We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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