Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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