it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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