Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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