this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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