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Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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