the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
