If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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