Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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