he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
