i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
