Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
