Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
